A few days ago we offered a serious suggestion, "Wellness Tokens," as a means of creating incentives to motivate more of us to "do the right thing," and assure our good health. Many of you have suggested we amend the label to "Wellness Dollars" in an effort to make the program more accessible to more people more quickly. OK, so be it. The Rainmaker will now refer to these tokens as "Wellness Dollars." So let it be written, so let it be done!
In the meantime in our ever diligent search for useful/actionable (sort of sounds like jargon but it's not meant that way...promise) information we stumbled across some anonymous research on the web that explains the sorry state of American health in the first decade of the 21st Century.
Here it is. The Rainmaker hopes you find it as instructive and useful as we did:
"After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:
- Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
- Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink whatever the hell you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you, but the U.S. Government is trying to correct the problem."
And there you have it. The secret to health and long life is to stop speaking English. The Rainmaker thought you would want to know.
For those of you who find this a tad politically incorrect, The Rainmaker offers the following piece of wisdom: "Lighten up."
For the rest of you:
"Viva mucho tiempo y prospere!"
"Longs de phase et prosperent!"
"Длинние в реальном маштабе времени и процветают."
"Longos vivos e progridem."
"살아있는 긴 번영한다."
For all the native speaking purists who find fault with those translations, all The Rainmaker can ask is that you cut a little slack, the objective here is merely to extend the life span a tad by learning to be a little less reliant on English.
For all the "English First" types who find this whole exercise offensive; all The Rainmaker can do is ask that you leave us a little something in your will.